Winter Blues

It's been a cold winter so far here in Connecticut.  I haven't been snowboarding yet but hope to get up to Vermont for some fresh pow.  I am still clean/sober now for 13 months but have really bad anxiety.  Golfing and snowboarding are like my go-to activities so without them I'm getting real stir
My mental illness is a big part of who I am and I won't dismiss it as some unimportant detail.  I have heard that schizophrenics get progressively worse as time goes on but I tend to be optimistic and think that I can beat it.  Some people are on meds there entire lives but I hope to one day be med-free.  I won't delve deep into it but fore the most part the meds don't work  and I am constantly in a state of pyschosis. I hope that by obstainig from drugs and alcohol that will help  me get my sanity back.

Golf is a great way to relax and recreate.  I find that if I play good golf early in the round and then fall apart my mental game falls apart too.  I get very overwhelmed and start  to lose focus.  However, most of the time  when I play I am relaxed and having fun.  I played a lot of golf last  year and it was an up and down year as far as scoring goes.  As I previously blogged I picked up some new irons.  The only thing I'm missing "out of my bag" is a towel and golf shoes.

Snowboarding  isn't something I've done my whole life- like golf is.  I'm a terrible skateboarder but you don't need as much balance and you  would think as a snowboarder.  I picked up  a skateboard two years ago but find it a very difficult sport.  At least if you  fall on a snowboard you don't usually get too beat up.  I think overall snowboarding is more entertaining for most who do both.  There is nothing like listening to a killer playlist while charilifting up a mountain.  Some people can't stand the cold but if you bundle up its ok.  Last year was the first year I didn't get  out, but this year should be back to  average. 

I dida big of gambling in 2017.  I think I may have even had an up year with winning bets on the Superbowl and running a free stake up to a $400+ cash out.  Poker has been less productive, but I feel more confident in my game and less on tilt

Anyways. I feel good vibes coming out of 2018 and hopefully it will be a breakout year.  Peace out homies.